Saturday Night Reflections

Well, it's Saturday night and I'm doing absolutely nothing; which feels good after this hectic past week. My mom flew in from Switzerland and I got to spend the last week with her and my sis and my friend Anisha in MIA. What a fun and crazy time. It was like we never stopped going until now. And I'm sitting in my livingroom listening to some jazz and am really full and satisfied.

The last couple months have been full of goodbyes. Too many than I would have liked. Roommates, close friends, family, and other loved ones. Ususally, I would be sad about it, but strangely life seems so full of possibilities, at this moment. As I move forward I start to realize a whole bunch of things. For example, the world is really small and I am going to travel the hell out of it this year and in the future; Life just keeps introducing more and more amazing people into my life. In friendship you only get what you give, and I intend to give more than I usually would from now on. This will be my last couple months sitting in a classroom (unless I go on to do a doctorate at some point) I really need to enjoy Tallahassee and the people I've met here before its too late. I'm not going to be afraid of living in some big city by myself next year because I am in control and I have an awesome security net in certain people (you know who you are). I am not going to be overly emotional about things, because I don't want to be THAT girl.-I'm too strong for that. My career is well on its way and I will end up anywhere I desire. I am a good person, and once I learn to have patience I will be even better. Yea, so things like that.

My granddad is very sick at the moment and my thoughts and preyers are with him. He's my last living grandparent and a great role model. He worked hard to bring up his family and look where we are now. He remained healthy into old age and I believe he will be turning 92 this year, or at least 90-something. He's lived a good life and I am proud of him for that. I try hard not to be sad at the possibility of death, but my heart just gets scared sometimes. Why? I'm not sure. Like I said he's lived a good life. But I guess nobody wants to easily give away something they love. Even if it's inevitable.

Life is getting  serious around me. My ex-boyfriend just had a baby and I think it's just amazing. I met him my first day on-campus and if it weren't for him I don't know if I would have stayed. He struggled during his first year at college, and I was able to help him a lot in return. We eventually ended up on different paths, but stayed in contact throughout. I'm happy we became friends. Well, he has a lot more responsibility than I would wish on myself, but I think he'll be ok. He always finds a way to make things work.

It looks like I'll be spending Christmas in Grenada this year. I wanted to go home to Switzerland, but it looks like with my granddad being sick now the family will be scattered for X-Mas. My brother will be there during the same time, working on fixing up my dad's property. There's a chance that he will stay for Christmas. I guess I just want to go back before it's too late. The last time I was there was '94. My grandma has died since. She was another amazing story, a true idol. I think of her a lot too. It will be interesting going back. Let's see what happens.

Well, it's now Sunday morning. I should go do something with myself; NOT!